Funny or Die Tappy Tje Tree

These funny laffy taffy jokes will sure make you laugh. They are the best laffy taffy jokes you will find.

1.  How do you get an alien baby to sleep? You rocket.
2. Where does a penguin keep his money? — in a snow bank.

   Check out our awesome collection of Banker Jokes

3.  WHAT HAS NO LEGS BUT CAN DO A SPLIT? A BANANA!

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4.  How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line.
5. What falls down but never gets hurt? — snow.

   Check out our collection of Funny Snow Jokes

6.  WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A STEREO AND A REFRIGERATOR? VERY COOL MUSIC!
7.  WHY COULDN'T THE SHOES GO OUT AND PLAY? THEY WERE ALL TIED UP!
8.  WHY DIDN'T THE LEOPARD GO ON VACATION? IT COULDN'T FIND THE RIGHT SPOT!

   Check out some of the most awesome Funny Animal Pictures And Jokes

9. WHAT DID THE SKUNK SAY WHEN THE WIND CHANGED? IT ALL COMES BACK TO ME NOW!
10.  WHY DO PHONES RING? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T TALK!

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11.  WHAT IS THE BIGGEST ROOM IN THE WORLD? ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT!
12.  WHAT ROOM CAN NO ONE ENTER? A MUSHROOM!
13.  WHAT OPENS AND SHUTS BUT IS NOT A DOOR OR WINDOWS? YOUR MIND!

    Check out our awesome collection of Windows Jokes

14.  What is a parasite? Something you see in Paris.
15.  WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PIG WITH A CHRISTMAS TREE? A PORCUPINE!
16. WHEN DO YOU STOP AT GREEN AND GO AT RED? WHEN EATING WATERMELON!

    Check out our awesome collection of Funny Christmas Quotes

17. WHY IS A PANCAKE LIKE THE SUN? BECAUSE IT RISES IN THE YEAST AND SETS IN THE VEST!
18.  WHAT DID THE BEE SAY TO THE FLOWER? HI BUD! WHAT TIME DO YOU OPEN!
19.  WHY DO HAMBURGERS FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER? SO THEY WON'T FREEZE THEIR BUNS!

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20.  WHY DIDN'T THE LITTLE GIRL WANT TO LEAVE NURSERY SCHOOL? SHE WANTED TO BE A NURSE WHEN SHE GREW UP!

    Check out some interesting Quotes About Growing Up

21. WHAT KIND OF TREE GROWS IN YOUR HAND? A PALM TREE!
22.  WHAT IS TEN AND TEN? NUMBERS!
23.  WHAT DID THE CHEERLEADER SAY TO THE GHOST? SHOW YOUR SPIRIT!

    Check out our awesome collection of Halloween Jokes about ghosts

24. WHAT PLANET IS LIKE A CIRCUS? SATURN IT HAS THREE RINGS!
25.  WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE CARRIED OUT TO SEA ON AN ICEBERG? KEEP COOL UNTIL YOU WERE RESCUED!
26. WHAT DO YOU CALL A LEASE OF FALSE TEETH? A DENTAL RENTAL!
27.  WHERE DID THE KITTENS GO ON A CLASS TRIP? TO THE MEOW-SEUM!

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28. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU HAVE A CAT THAT EATS LEMONS? A SOUR PUSS!
29. WHAT DID THE WATER SAY TO THE SPONGE? QUIT SOAKING!
30. Why did the farmer bury all his money? To make his soil rich.

    Check out Really Funny Money Quotes

31.  WHY IS A BAD JOKE LIKE A POOR PENCIL? BECAUSE IT HAS NO POINT!
32.  WHY DID THE BASKETBALL PLAYER BRING A DUCK TO THE GAME? SHE WANTED TO SHOOT A FOUL SHOT!
33.  WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAR THAT NEVER STOPS? CARGO!
34.  WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RUBBER BANDS? SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A PLASTIC ORCHESTRA!
35. WHAT DID THE FORK SAY TO THE SPOON? WHO'S THAT SHARP GUY NEXT TO YOU!
36. HOW DID DINOSAURS DECORATE THEIR BEDROOMS? WITH REP-TILES!
37.  WHY WAS THE CAT AFRAID OF THE TREE? BECAUSE OF ITS BARK!
38. WHAT DID ONE CAMPFIRE SAY TO THE OTHER? LET'S GO OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS!
39. WHAT FOODS ARE ESPECIALLY GOOD FOR YOUNG PEOPLE? THE PRO-TEENS!
40. WHY DID THE BELT GO TO JAIL? IT HELD UP A PAIR OF PANTS!
41.  WHY WAS THE APPLE MEAN AND ANGRY? IT WAS A CRAB APPLE!

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42.  WHAT DO YOU CALL A CRAB WHO PLAYS BASEBALL? A PINCH HITTER!
43.  WHAT IS THE CLUMSIEST BEE? A BUMBLING BEE!
44.  What kind of chain is edible? A food chain.
45.  What did one eye say to the other? Between me and you something smells.
46.  Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
47. What is smarter than a talking bird? A spelling bee.
48.  What did the grass say to the ball field? — I want to root for you.
49.  WHAT KIND OF TEA CANNOT BE TAKEN INTO SPACE? GRAVITY!
50.  WHAT DID ONE SHOE SAY TO THE OTHER SHOE? DON'T STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT ME!
51.  WHAT DID THE GROUND SAY TO THE DINOSAUR'S FOOTPRINT? YOU MADE A BIG IMPRESSION ON ME!
52. WHY DIDN'T THE ASTRONAUTS LAND ON THE MOON? BECAUSE IT WAS FULL!
53.  Did you hear the joke about the toilet? Never mind it's too dirty.
54.  What did the guy say to the horse when he walked into the bar? Why the long face?
55. HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN JACK-O-LANTERN? WITH A PUMPKIN PATCH!
56.  WHY COULDN'T THE GIRL EAT HER ALPHABET SOUP? SHE WAS ALLERGIC TO THE B'S!
57. WHAT DID THE IGNITION SAY TO THE CAR KEYS? YOU REALLY TURN ME ON!
58. WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE BASKETBALL COURT? BECAUSE THE REFEREE CALLED FOWL!
59. What did the tree say to the mountain? — stop peaking at me!
60. If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? — a poul-tree.
61. What do you get when you cross a grape with a lion? — a grape nobody picks on.
62. How do you get the water into watermelon? — Plant it in the spring!
63. Why was the boy covered in gift wrap? — His mom told him to "Live in the present!"
64.  How do you get a peanut to laugh? — you crack it up.
65. Who greets you at a haunted house? — a host ghost.
66. What did the egg say to the frying pan? You crack me up.
67. Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long? If it were 12 inches long it would be a foot!
68. 69. WHAT DID THE PANCAKE SAY TO THE BASEBALL PLAYER? BATTER UP!
69. 70. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A GOOSE WITH A CAMEL? GOOSEBUMPS!
70. 71. WHAT DID ONE WORM SAY TO THE OTHER? I'M MOVING TO THE BIG APPLE!
71. 72. WHAT HAS ONE HORN AND GIVES MILK? A MILK TRUCK!
72. 73. What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you? Ten after one!
73. 74. Where did the kittens go on the class trip — to the meow-seum.
74. What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? — a watchdog
75.  What did the art dealer say when a man asked what a picture was supposed to be? — a reflection of you.
76. How do you shoot a killer bee? — With a bee-bee gun.
77. Why did the bowling pins stop working? — Because they went on Strike.
78. Why did the man throw his margarine? — he wanted to see the butter fly.
79. What did the finger say to the thumb? — I'm totally in glove with you dear.
80. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin? — a very cross penguin
81. How do billboards talk? — Sign language!
82. What kind of brush do you use to comb a bee's hair? — a honey comb
83. What happens when you cross a singer and a rocking chair? — you rock to the beat.
84. How do you mend a broken jack o' lantern? — with a pumpkin patch.
85. what do you call a lease of false teeth? — a dental rental
86. Where can you find an ocean without water? On a map.
87. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BABY WITH A DRUM? A BABY BOOMER!
88. HOW DO YOU CUT THE SEA IN HALF? WITH A SEA SAW!
89. WHAT DID ONE POTATO SAY TO THE OTHER? I CAN SEE YOU ARE A CHIP OFF THE OLD SPUD!
90. WHAT DID THE FOOTBALL SAY TO THE FOOTBALL PLAYER? I GET A KICK OUT OF YOU!
91. WHY DID THE MOTHER PUT THE BABY ON THE RECORD PLAYER? IT HAD AN AUTOMATIC CHANGER!
92. WHAT BUILDING HAS THE MOST STORIES? THE LIBRARY!
93. WHAT WAS THE COWBOY LOOKING FOR AT THE BEACH? A SEAHORSE!
94. WHAT DO YOU CALL A SLEEPING BULL? A BULLDOZER!
95. WHAT DO FROGS ORDER FOR DINNER AT RESTAURANT? FRENCH FLIES!
96. WHAT DID THE MAN SAY WHEN A PICTURE FELL ON HIS HEAD? I'VE BEEN FRAMED!
97. WHAT DO YOU CALL GRANDMOTHER WHO CRACKERS JOKES? A GRAM CRACKER!
98. What did the boy chip say to the girl chip (crisp for the Brits)? — Let's dance and I'll dip you.
99. WHAT DO YOU FEED A INVISIBLE CAT? EVAPORATED MILK!
100. WHAT KIND OF SHOES DO FROGS LIKE TO WEAR? OPEN TOAD SANDALS!
101. What do you call a horse that likes arts & crafts? — a hobby horse.
102. Why do shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles.

Enjoyed these really funny laffy taffy jokes?
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Want more really funny jokes?
Check out
Knock Knock Jokes
or
Little Johnny Jokes
or
One Liner Jokes

Related Laffy Taffy Links You May Enjoy:
1. Great Clean Jokes: Laffy Taffy Jokes
2. Pinterest: Laffy Taffy Joke of the Week
3. CommonPlaceBook.com: Laffy Taffy Wrapper Jokes

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